There is a saying ‘if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is meant to be.’ How many of us cling onto friendships that no longer serve their purpose, then wonder why they turn toxic and conflict develops?
Each friendship we establish serves a purpose, it happens for a reason. We learn so much through them because we mirror each other. This can be viewed as good or bad, but it is how we react to each situation that brings awareness of our growth. Our ‘reason’ friends are like teachers. They will come into our lives briefly, teach us a lesson about ourselves beit painful, joyful or simple, and through that experience, we grow and learn who we are. The key to handling our ‘reason’ friendships, is to let go and let love prevail. Loosing a brief friendship can feel unsettling, however when we see the deeper meaning and understand the purpose, we realise the importance. Just because any friendship was short lived, does not mean it was of less importance - some people can have a huge impact on our life, in such a short period of time.
Our ‘season’ friendships stay with us longer. Embarking on a journey through life that lasts longer than our ‘reason’ friendships, bringing us ongoing awareness and learning. If we have missed the point of the ‘reason’ friendship, sometimes it can be extended into a season one. Season friends can be with us for a few months or a few years, teaching us about ourselves and helping us to form some healthy boundaries. We can help each other grow and flourish, until it is time to move on. Separating from our season friends can feel hard however, it is more of a celebration of what has been learned from each other, rather than a dooms day situation. If we don’t like change, then this process can feel painful - the key is to keep it in perspective. If any friendship is being forced to exist past it’s sell by date, then it can become toxic. Many of us may have experienced a feeling of obligation, or even duty to see a friend and it is not a healthy experience.
Being lucky enough to form ‘life’ friendships is a beautiful thing. These are the friends that will continually be with us throughout our life and growth. It is the unconditional acceptance of each other, that fuels this relationship. We can call them our soul mates, or best friends and we know that the friendship will last the test of time. No matter the distance or time between the last meeting, catching up where it left off without judgement is the foundations of this relationship. Lifetime friendships teach us our true essence. When we are able to commit to an open, honest and healthy friendship, it is because we are being open, honest and healthy with ourselves.
Friends will come and go, that’s life, however it is worth while remembering the best friendship we can form, is an amazingly healthy relationship with ourselves - all love begins with self love.
